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After the »Happy End« – Part 1 with Maria
sisterMAG founder Toni Sutter talks with intercultural couples about their love story and about how things develop in real life after the »happy end«. Maria who moved to the US with her husband Seth and has been living there for many years now, allows a look behind the scenes of her relationship with an American in the first part of the feature. How does the move to another country work? How did the wedding planning go? How do you find a job without being a native speaker? All this and more you will read in this new series.
- Text & Idea: Antonia Sutter
From a distance to vicinity
After the Happy End – A real-life look behind the scenes of cross-cultural couples
Anybody who at one point in his/her life spent time in a foreign country, probably had this expat love story dream, i.e. wanted to date the man or women of his/her dream from the Expat country, experience a fairytale love story and stay in that country.
We at sisterMAG – as a bilingual magazine with a truly international set of contributors – not only guess about reality but take a real-life look behind the scenes and get the real stories on what happens to cross-cultural couples after the happy end. Questions like:
How does the permanent move to the dream country work? What was the wedding planning like? How is it to live in a foreign country without your native support network? How are children raised in a foreign culture? How easy or difficult was it to find a job without being native in a language? are answered.
For the first part of our new series we interviewed with Maria and Juliane two women from Germany who found love in the United States and Sweden and made the leap to the respective countries. We asked both of them some serious questions about their love story and how they feel as part of a cross-cultural couple.
Maria & Seth
residence: Clarksville, Tennessee, USA
What countries are you both from?
I am from Germany and my husband from the United States.
How did you get to know each other? What’s your love story?
We met like many others while he was stationed with the U.S. Army in Germany and I was going to University in Würzburg. One night he was my customer at the restaurant that I worked at. We enjoyed talking and spending time with each other and the rest as you say is history.
When did you know that it is the real thing? Are you already married? Do you have kids?
I think we knew it was the real thing when I flew with him back to the States because his grandmother had passed away. A few months after that he went on a 6-month peace keeping mission in Kosovo and after that we knew for sure that we wanted to spend our life together. We have been married for 16 . years and have two kids, 12 and almost 10.
How was the wedding – combining the two cultures?
Our wedding was amazing. We got married in my hometown and had the church ceremony in German and English. We used the tradition of the father walking the bride down the aisle and bridesmaids and groomsmen. Besides those aspects it was a pretty traditional German wedding and I think everybody enjoyed it.
What were the main discussion points about child raising?
Our first main discussion point was language. We decided that I would only speak German to the kids while he’ll speak English. Because of that and our goal to go to Germany at least every other year if not every year they do a fabulous job at speaking German. It makes it easier that my husband speaks and understands German as well. Our differences in child raising are not so much based on culture as they are on the different ways we were raised.
How did you decide in which country you want to live?
At the time we didn’t really have a choice. My husband is still in the military and they just tell you where to go. We are getting to the point where after almost 16 years in the US we have to decide if this is where we want to stay or if we want to move back to Germany.
Do you want at one point in time also live in the other country?
Yes, I do.
About you Maria
Was it always a dream of yours to permanently live in this specific country?
I spend a year in the US as an exchange student and after that I always wanted to live in the US. However, having lived here for so long now and knowing the difference between the two countries, I would rather live in Germany.
How well did you know the culture?
As I mentioned before I had already spend a year in the US so I had an idea of what I was getting into but it is a very big country and we have lived in 4 different states and the culture differs from south to north and east to west.
How easy or hard was it for you to build your professional career in the new country?
I was studying to be a teacher in Germany, and we moved 1 year before student teaching. When I enrolled at University here, I had to start from scratch. My classes I had already completed only counted as electives. That was very frustrating. Due to our lifestyle and our choice for me to stay home with the kids until they start school, I am just now starting to work as a teacher.
What do you miss most about your home country?
I miss the way of life, being able to walk everywhere. Kids have the chance to be more responsible and traveling is much easier.
What was the hardest about the move?
Moving away from my family was definitely the hardest!
Do you want to read further interviews in our series »After the Happy End«? Then read here the interview with Juliane.
