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See through male patterns of communication and use them

In this sisterMAG, Dr. Johanna Disselhoff shows 5 strategies that teach you how to see through male patterns of communication and strategically use them for your own career. They should help the modern, career-focused woman to reach her goals and be heard.

Understanding male patterns of communication and using them strategically for your own career

Talking is power – those whose turn it is to talk and who take up the most time for speaking, dominate the meeting and are the ones remembered by their superiors. Women and men often use very different communication strategies in their jobs. While women often wait for a chance to speak in meetings, men often just start talking.

Especially if you work in an environment with a rather male-dominated communication culture, making use of certain male communication patterns in a targeted way can push your career immensely. We have compiled 5 strategies to help you do this.

Strategy 1: Presenting instead of having a dialogue

Instead of just saying what you want to say, briefly present your topic first! This way, you take up more time for speaking than would actually be necessary and take the opportunity to be remembered by the other participants.

How you can use this strategy for yourself:

You can use this strategy in a meeting by not starting with open questions to a topic that you wish to present, but instead by first calmly explaining and presenting all the facts gathered so far for your project. This way, you take up more time for speaking, inform your colleagues and superiors about your work and can ask your questions afterwards.

Strategy 2: Interrupting someone instead of letting them finish speaking

Letting others finish speaking means taking them seriously and meeting them at eye-level. This is precisely what some colleagues and superiors disregard. Instead, they make use of the reverse effect. Because those who interrupt others and cut them off show implicitly that they think themselves to be more important, that they do not take the other person seriously and do not think much of the other’s idea.

How you can use this strategy for yourself:

You should of course not simply adopt this strategy, but see in which situations it can be of use. You can for instance use this strategy when a colleague gets caught up in a topic and does not stop with their monologue. In this situation, interrupting them can be helpful and let the topic go in a new direction. The other people in the meeting will be grateful for certain.

Strategy 3: Talking at the same time

This strategy is a pure power struggle. You want to say something about a topic, but the other person does not stop talking and talks at the same time as you. The implicit message here is clear as well: No one wants to give in and both think their information is more important.

How you can use this strategy for yourself:

You can use this strategy in two ways: On the one hand, you simply see what happens when you continue speaking as soon as someone tries to interrupt. On the other hand, you can of course interrupt someone yourself and talk at the same time as them. This strategy also helps you to make yourself heard. However, you should use the second option with caution, try it out and see how your colleagues and superiors react first.

Strategy 4: What’s there to laugh about? Clear, non-verbal communication

We as women often tend to show an unnecessarily impolite demeanour in the workplace. Especially in meetings or a review involving criticism, our non-verbal, impolite behaviour can be misinterpreted completely. This includes a social smile or a supportive nod. In meetings or a review involving criticism, however, this can be interpreted as approval or even the inability to handle conflicts or, in the worst-case scenario, as you belittling the situation with your smile. And this is an impression you surely do not want to make. Men often behave completely different in comparison. They smile far less in meetings and do not nod as often. They refrain from social, interpersonal signals and merely refer to the factual and content level of the talk.

How you can use this strategy for yourself:

Try to stay on the factual level in meetings and discussions at work and get into the habit of looking serious and interested. You can of course keep your friendly manner in other job-related contexts, because this is definitely one of our strengths as women. You should simply learn to use this strength in a targeted way.

Strategy 5: Clear, content-based orientation to one’s own goals

In the business world, men are often accused of being selfish and of only working on their own careers. They, for instance, often choose a project or an additional task according to the benefit it has for their professional life. Others then think of this behaviour as selfish and inconsiderate towards one’s colleagues. But often, there is a completely different reason behind this, which is the clear focus on one’s own goals. And that can be extremely important for one’s own career.

How you can use this strategy for yourself:

This strategy can give you an enormous career boost if used correctly. The first, most crucial step is to figure out your career goals. So ask yourself: What do I want to achieve? How do I want to work? Where do I want to be in five years? Which steps do I want to take? What is necessary in order for me to do this? Find your own professional focus.

Then you can start to align your projects and additional tasks accordingly. So look for tasks in projects that strategically fit your goals. With this strategy, you step forward little by little and develop a clear profile.

With these 5 strategies, you can make yourself heard in the workplace and your performance will finally become more visible. Especially if you work in an environment that follows a rather male-dominated communication culture, these strategies will help you achieve your goals.